Going through a divorce or separation as a parent can be immensely challenging. You’re juggling your own emotional ups and downs—guilt, anger, sadness—while also having to explain the situation to your children. If a divorce is not managed carefully, its effects on children can be profound, regardless of their age.

Below, we explore how different ages and stages may be affected, and offer some practical ways to support your children as your family adapts to new living arrangements.

Worst Age for Divorce for Children

There is no ideal age at which divorce has zero impact. However, depending on their stage of development, children’s reactions often vary:

• Younger Children: Poorly handled divorce can lead to heightened separation anxiety and difficulty adjusting to new routines.
• Older Children or Teenagers: May experience resentment, anger, or a breakdown in communication with one or both parents if they feel the divorce is unfair or inadequately explained.

Seeking advice from a professional counsellor or a specialist family solicitor can help you understand and mitigate the likely effects of divorce on your children.

Child Care Arrangements After Separation

Raising children involves continuous decision-making. During a divorce, coordinating these decisions may become more complex. Below are a few suggestions to help:

1. CAFCASS Parenting Plan

   • A Parenting Plan is a written document created by both parents, detailing practical childcare arrangements after separation.
   • It sets out each parent’s responsibilities, acting as a reference for day-to-day care and helping to minimise disputes.

2. Wall Planner or Google Calendar

   • For younger children, a child-friendly chart can help them see what’s happening and when, including visits to the other parent.
   • For teenagers, a Google Calendar allows everyone to share and update events easily, minimising direct communication if tensions run high.

3. Parenting Apps

   • 2houses: Includes a calendar for shared childcare, plus areas for finances and medical info.
   • Smart Coparent: Offers calendar sharing, messaging, financial tracking, and budget planning.
   • AppClose: Free to use, with calendar sharing, messaging, and options to send requests.
   • Fayr: Similar features, including shared calendars and expenses management.

Additional Considerations

• Emotional Support: If the transition is especially difficult, consider seeking professional counselling or therapy for both you and your children.
• Communication: Aim to maintain open, age-appropriate discussions with your children about the changes they are experiencing and reassure them they are loved and safe.
• Legal Guidance: If disputes arise over living arrangements or child contact, a family solicitor can help formalise agreements, often without the need for court.

How HM & Co. Solicitors Can Help

At HM & Co. Solicitors, we understand that safeguarding children’s welfare is paramount throughout the divorce process. Our experienced family law team offers sensitive and expert guidance on child arrangements, helping you make decisions in your children’s best interests.

HM & Co. Solicitors
186 Lower Road
Surrey Quays
London SE16 2UN

Telephone: 02071128180
Email: info@hmsolicitorsltd.com

We are here to provide legal support tailored to your family’s unique circumstances, ensuring your children’s well-being remains the top priority.