Gaslighting is a subtle but toxic form of emotional abuse that can occur in relationships, friendships, or even professional settings. It involves manipulating someone into doubting their memory, perceptions, and even their sanity. Over time, this can have a devastating impact on the victim’s emotional wellbeing and sense of self-worth.

In this post, we will explore what gaslighting is, how it works, and the signs to look out for. We will also provide guidance on what steps you can take if you believe you or someone you know is experiencing gaslighting or similar manipulative behaviour.

What Is Gaslighting in Relationships?

Gaslighting in relationships is where one person systematically distorts another person’s reality to gain control. Repeated over time, victims may start questioning their own memory, judgement, and sanity. This form of coercive behaviour leaves the abuser with increased power, while the victim relies on their abuser’s version of reality.

Gaslighting typically manifests in a romantic context but can also occur within friendships, family dynamics, and work environments. Wherever it happens, its central aim is to dominate and erode the self-confidence of the target.

How Does Gaslighting Work?

Those who gaslight employ a set of manipulative tactics to confuse, intimidate, and destabilise victims. Some common tactics include:

• Denial of Events: Perpetrators may deny specific words or actions outright, even when there’s clear evidence to the contrary.
• Trivialising or Dismissing: Victims may be told they’re oversensitive or overreacting.
• Projecting Their Behaviour: Gaslighters accuse victims of actions or attitudes the abuser is actually guilty of.
• Withholding Information: They might conceal key facts or lie about them.
• Isolating the Victim: Restricting communication with friends or family to heighten dependence on the abuser.
• Twisting Reality: Manipulating or contradicting a victim’s memory to convince them their recollection is wrong.

Is Gaslighting a Form of Abuse?

Yes. Gaslighting is recognised as a form of psychological and emotional abuse. It is often associated with coercive control, an act or pattern of acts designed to dominate another person and rob them of self-confidence. Given its intent to destabilise and exert control, gaslighting fits the broader definition of domestic abuse.

Recognising the Signs of Gaslighting

Below are some common signs to help you identify whether gaslighting may be happening:

• Constant Self-Doubt: You question your own recollection and think you’re always at fault.
• Fear or Unease: Feeling as though you’re ‘walking on eggshells’ around someone.
• Memory Problems: You recall events differently but are consistently told you’re incorrect.
• Increased Guilt: You feel guilty or ashamed more than normal, even for minor disagreements.
• Isolation: You find yourself seeing friends and family less, often at the abuser’s behest.
• Loss of Identity: You may sense that you’re no longer the person you used to be, losing self-confidence and autonomy.

What To Do If You’re Being Gaslighted

Admitting you’re experiencing gaslighting is the first step towards seeking help. Below are some practical tips if you suspect this is happening to you:

1. Stay Safe
   • If you’re in immediate danger, dial 999 for the police.
2. Seek Support
   • Reach out to friends, trusted family members, or charities specialising in domestic abuse and emotional support.
3. Keep Records
   • Document instances, conversations, and events that make you question your sanity. A diary or secure digital record can help.
4. Talk to a Professional
   • Specialists in domestic abuse can provide guidance, emotional support, and resources to help you.
5. Contact a Solicitor
   • Family law solicitors can offer legal protection, such as non-molestation orders, if necessary.

Additional Resources

• National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Women’s Aid/Refuge): 0808 2000 247
• Men’s Advice Line (Respect): 0808 801 0327
• Galop (LGBT+ community): 0800 999 5428

Getting Legal Advice

If you’re experiencing gaslighting in a relationship, you may want to explore legal protection and advice, especially if children or shared property are involved. Injunctions, such as non-molestation or occupation orders, may be granted by the family court if there’s evidence of abuse or the threat of harm.

Contact HM & Co. Solicitors

Should you need legal guidance in understanding or preventing gaslighting and other forms of domestic abuse, please don’t hesitate to reach out to HM & Co. Solicitors. We’re here to provide clear advice, support, and representation during an undoubtedly stressful period in your life.

HM & Co. Solicitors

• Address: 186 Lower Road, Surrey Quays, London SE16 2UN
• Telephone: 02071128180
• Email: info@hmsolicitorsltd.com

You don’t have to face gaslighting or emotional abuse alone. Speak to our team of experienced solicitors for help in protecting yourself, preserving your emotional wellbeing, and moving forward safely.