Tech Abuse: Understanding Technology-Facilitated Abuse

Technology is woven into almost every aspect of our day-to-day lives—shopping, banking, social media, and communication. Unfortunately, this deep reliance on devices and online platforms has also opened the door to a form of domestic abuse known as tech abuse. In this blog, we will explore what tech abuse involves, how it manifests, and steps you can take to protect yourself or someone you know.

What Is Tech Abuse?

Tech abuse (technology-facilitated abuse) is the misuse of any form of technology—mobile phones, social media, home devices, software—to harass, stalk, threaten, or control someone else. It encompasses:

  • Hacking and spying: Gaining unauthorised access to emails, social media accounts, online banking, or text messages.
  • Stalker-ware: Installing covert apps on a partner’s or ex-partner’s device to track their location and monitor calls or messages.
  • Smart home systems: Using gadgets like Ring video doorbells or Google Home Hubs to surveil victims, intrude on their privacy, or verbally abuse them through connected devices.
  • Online manipulation: Setting up fake profiles, posting harmful or false information, or sending abusive messages to the victim or their friends/family.

Tech abuse can have a devastating impact on survivors, eroding their sense of safety and wellbeing.

Technology & Domestic Abuse

Tech abuse is classified as a form of domestic abuse and coercive control. It can form part of a broader pattern of abuse or arise for the first time after separation:

  • During a relationship: Partners may engage in covert surveillance, emotional manipulation, or monitoring of the other person.
  • After a relationship ends: This post-separation abuse can continue through unwanted contact, hacking attempts, or even manipulative use of shared family apps.

According to the charity Refuge, in 2019, 72% of the women who accessed its services had been subjected to technology-facilitated abuse. This alarming statistic underscores how commonplace this form of abuse has become.

Spotting Tech Abuse

Technology-facilitated abuse is often hidden and can be difficult to prove. Yet it may present in various ways, such as:

  • Constant harassment: Persistent calls, texts, or social media messages that leave you feeling anxious or overwhelmed.
  • Location tracking: Unauthorised GPS tracking on your phone or car, or unexpected knowledge of your whereabouts.
  • Online impersonation: Fake social media accounts or emails pretending to be you, leading to reputational harm.
  • Device tampering: Discovery of unknown apps, changed passwords, or tampered security settings on your devices.

How to Support a Victim of Tech Abuse

If someone confides in you about tech abuse:

  1. Listen and believe: Offer a non-judgemental ear—do not victim-blame.
  2. Encourage professional support: If it’s safe, share helpline numbers, such as the free 24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247, or advise them to call 999 in immediate danger.
  3. Research: Understand how technology can be misused and share information on how to secure devices.
  4. Assist discreetly: If they need help changing passwords or setting up new accounts, do so carefully to avoid alerting the abuser.

Post-Separation Abuse and Technology

Even after leaving an abusive relationship, the survivor may still face tech abuse. Abusers may:

  • Use co-parenting apps (or avoid them) as a gateway to continue harassment. Tools like OurFamilyWizard can help structure communication safely.
  • Escalate financial and emotional abuse through repeated court applications or by withholding child maintenance.
  • Harvest personal data from devices to further harass the victim.

Remember, simply finalising a divorce or separation doesn’t always stop an abuser. Keeping devices secure and using carefully chosen communication methods can mitigate ongoing risks.

Protecting Yourself from Tech Abuse

  • Check device security: Update passwords, remove unknown apps, and ensure two-factor authentication is enabled on important accounts.
  • Use safe communication tools: Platforms designed for family law or co-parenting can help record abusive messages.
  • Document everything: Keep screenshots of abuse, note call records, and secure messages that might serve as evidence.
  • Seek legal advice: Specialist family solicitors can help you obtain injunctions, such as Non-Molestation Orders, if tech abuse is part of a wider pattern of domestic violence.

Contact HM & Co. Solicitors

Are you experiencing tech abuse, or worried about a friend or family member? Our expert team at HM & Co. Solicitors can provide confidential advice and guide you through the legal steps needed to secure your and your children’s safety.

We understand the unique challenges posed by technology-facilitated abuse and are dedicated to offering empathetic, effective legal support.

Your Questions, Answered

FAQs

Tech Abuse FAQs

FAQIs technology-facilitated abuse part of other types of abuse?

Yes. Perpetrators often use technology to control, monitor, and harass victims, typically within the context of a wider abusive dynamic—be it financial, emotional, or physical abuse. Such abuse may continue post-separation and may also include sexual abuse through the sharing or threat of sharing intimate images. For instance, deepfakes—where a perpetrator superimposes someone’s face onto a pornographic image—are used to blackmail or threaten the victim.

 

How do I know if I am a victim of tech abuse?

You might be experiencing technology-facilitated abuse if:

  • Your abuser consistently knows information about you that you haven’t shared.
  • They appear unexpectedly wherever you are, despite not being told your plans.
  • You suspect they’re accessing private conversations or legal communications.
  • Your phone battery drains unusually fast, your device is hot to the touch, or data usage is abnormally high—potential signs of stalker-ware.
  • Emails appear “read” when you haven’t opened them, or phone calls have odd glitches regularly.

Trust your instincts: if you suspect you’re being monitored or harassed online, you likely are.

 

What should I do if I’m a victim of tech abuse?

Coping with technology-facilitated abuse can be extremely stressful, especially if the abuser has access to most or all of your devices. Here are some recommendations:

  1. Do not make sudden changes: Removing an abuser’s access can raise their suspicions and escalate the situation.
  2. Use a safe device: Consider obtaining a separate (burner) phone.
  3. Seek help from support organisations: For immediate threats, call 999. If possible, contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0800 2000 247.
  4. Secure your devices: Charities like Refuge provide guides on how to protect your technology and online accounts.

 

What help is available?

  • Emergency assistance: Dial 999 if you’re in immediate danger.
  • National Domestic Abuse Helpline: Free, confidential support at 0808 2000 247.
  • Refuge: Offers resources on dealing with technology-facilitated abuse and supports women and children escaping domestic abuse.
  • Legal advice: Speak to a trusted family lawyer if you’re experiencing or suspect tech abuse, especially when going through separation or divorce. A lawyer can help protect your communication channels, set up new email addresses, and advise on legal steps like Non-Molestation Orders.

Contact HM & Co. Solicitors

Address: 186 Lower Road, Surrey Quays, London SE16 2UN
Telephone: 02071128180
Email: info@hmsolicitorsltd.com

We understand the complexities and dangers of technology-facilitated abuse and are committed to providing empathetic, expert legal guidance. If you suspect you’re being subjected to tech abuse, reach out to us for confidential advice and support.

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