What Is Post-Separation Abuse?
Post-separation abuse refers to patterns of abusive behaviour that continue—or even begin—after a relationship has ended. These harmful acts can include emotional, financial, physical, and psychological abuse, such as harassment, stalking, and manipulation. Crucially, in April 2023, amendments to the Serious Crimes Act (2015) clarified that coercive and controlling behaviour (including post-separation abuse) is a criminal offence.
Key Points
- Abuse can persist long after a breakup or divorce.
- Physical distance often leads to increased emotional or financial forms of abuse.
- Some abusers initiate these behaviours only after a relationship ends.
Why Is It So Harmful?
Lingering Effects
Post-separation abuse can inflict significant emotional damage, affecting mental health and potentially leading to depression, anxiety, PTSD, or long-term trust issues. For couples with children, the situation becomes even more complicated, as perpetrators may use the children as a means to continue exerting control.
Cycle of Abuse
Post-separation abuse often follows a cyclical pattern:
- Tension Building – The abuser becomes resentful over the end of the relationship.
- Abuse – They lash out using various tactics to cause pain (harassment, threats, stalking).
- Reconciliation – Attempts at smoothing things over.
- Calm – Abusive behaviour temporarily subsides before the cycle restarts.
Is Post-Separation Abuse a Crime?
Yes. Post-separation abuse is covered under coercive or controlling behaviour, which is recognised as a criminal offence under the Serious Crimes Act (2015). Offenders can be sentenced to a maximum of five years in prison, issued a fine, or both.
Possible Forms of Abuse
- Financial – Withholding child maintenance, running up joint debts, or dragging the survivor into court to cause financial strain.
- Emotional – Sending abusive messages or emails, spreading harmful lies, or prolonged harassment.
- Physical – Stalking or direct harm; though less common, it remains a real threat.
- Legal – Misuse of the legal system to create stress, for instance by ignoring court orders or repeatedly contesting child arrangements.
How Can You Cope?
1. Seek Help
- Professional Support – Engage a counsellor, therapist, or domestic abuse support service.
- Legal Advice – A solicitor specialising in domestic abuse can advise you on protective orders (e.g., Non-Molestation Orders) or how to manage court hearings.
2. Secure Communication
- Technology Check – Change email addresses, block numbers, and ensure your social media privacy settings are robust.
- Support System – Build a reliable network of friends, family, or support groups to lessen isolation.
3. Boundaries & Documentation
- Stay Vigilant – Keep a record of all incidents and communications.
- Set Clear Boundaries – Only communicate through safe channels if you must remain in contact, for example about children.
Will It Stop?
For some survivors, post-separation abuse eases over time—perhaps if the abuser forms a new relationship or loses interest. However, there is no certainty it will end by itself. An abuser may consistently seek to control their former partner, especially if they share children. Practical measures, a strong support network, and legal guidance are critical for ongoing safety and peace of mind.
Charities and Organisations That Can Help
- Immediate Danger – Call 999
- National Domestic Violence Helpline – 0808 2000 247 (24 hours)
- Women’s Aid – www.womensaid.org.uk
- Local Services – Your GP, local council, or dedicated domestic abuse agencies can provide confidential support.
How HM & Co. Solicitors Can Support You
If you’re experiencing post-separation abuse, our experienced team at HM & Co. Solicitors is here to offer empathetic advice and robust legal representation. Whether you need help with legal orders, financial arrangements, or child arrangements, we aim to empower you to regain control and safeguard your wellbeing.
Contact HM & Co. Solicitors
- Address: 186 Lower Road, Surrey Quays, London SE16 2UN
- Telephone: 02071128180
- Email: info@hmsolicitorsltd.com
We’re dedicated to ensuring your safety and will work tirelessly to protect your rights and those of your children. Feel free to call or email us to learn how we can help you move forward with renewed confidence.
