What the Family Court Expects from Parents
When parents separate, whether they have lived together or not, arranging the care of their children can be challenging. The courts expect parents to try to reach an agreement before applying for a child arrangements order. This post looks at the family court’s expectations, what to do if you want to change existing arrangements, and how issues like contact or access can be affected.
Attempts to Agree Before Court
The first step is always to try and work out child arrangements yourselves, if possible. Even after you have separated—and even if you never lived together—this duty continues.
- Talk to Each Other: If you can still communicate, try to discuss the children’s routines, needs, and how each of you can stay involved.
- Mediation or Solicitors: If talking is not an option or has broken down, you should consider professional mediation or legal advice. The courts want to see that all reasonable efforts have been made to avoid litigation.
The Child’s Best Interests
The most important principle in family law is the welfare of the child. Even if a parent strongly believes they have the ‘right’ solution, it may not align with the child’s best interests. The court’s overriding concern is ensuring the child’s safety, stability, and well-being—this trumps any personal wishes from either parent.
Can I Be Denied Contact with My Child?
Courts typically want children to maintain a relationship with both parents unless there is a clear risk to the child’s welfare. Here are key points:
- Safety Concerns: If it is believed that contact could harm the child (e.g. domestic violence, substance abuse), the court may refuse or limit contact.
- Child Maintenance: Failing to pay maintenance is not generally a reason alone to deny contact.
Changing Existing Arrangements
You may find, over time, that the agreed or court-ordered arrangements no longer suit your child’s needs or your family situation.
Seek Agreement
- Discuss any proposed changes with the other parent first.
- If you can reach a mutual decision, you may be able to amend things without returning to court.
Consider Mediation
- If you cannot agree directly, explore mediation to see if a compromise can be reached.
Apply to the Court
- If mediation fails, you will need to apply to the family court to vary or discharge (end) the existing order.
- Obey Current Orders: Until the order is changed, you must comply with it, even if you disagree.
Final Thoughts
Ultimately, the family court’s emphasis is on collaboration and solutions that serve the child’s welfare. Parents are encouraged to reach sensible, child-focused agreements wherever possible. If you need support—whether that’s through mediation or making or varying a court application—professional legal advice can help you navigate the legal process smoothly and ensure the best outcome for your children.
HM & Co. Solicitors
Address: 186 Lower Road, Surrey Quays, London SE16 2UN
Telephone: 02071128180
Email: info@hmsolicitorsltd.com
For further guidance on child arrangements, contact our experienced family law team. We’re here to help you prioritise your child’s best interests and find workable solutions for everyone involved.
Your Questions, Answered
FAQs
Family Court Expectations for Parents FAQs
1. Why does the court expect parents to attempt agreement first?
The law states that parents share responsibility for their children and should do everything possible to work out how they will be raised. Even if you separate, this duty continues, and the court expects you to try and agree on arrangements without needing its intervention. If direct communication is difficult, mediation can help you find solutions.
2. What happens if we cannot agree on child arrangements?
If you and your ex-partner cannot reach an agreement—even with support from mediators or solicitors—you can ask the court to decide for you. The court’s primary focus will be the welfare of your child, and it may make decisions that are in their best interests, even if that differs from what you want.
3. Why do courts prefer parental agreements over imposed orders?
Experience shows that when parents reach an agreement between themselves, it generally works better for everyone involved. Court-imposed orders can sometimes lead to further conflict or resentment, so the family court encourages you to find collaborative solutions that keep your child’s needs at heart.
4. What does the family court expect from parents regarding child arrangements?
- Support a relationship with both parents: The court wants each parent to encourage a positive bond between the child and the other parent.
- Maintain a workable parenting relationship: Even though you are no longer a couple, you both remain responsible for your child’s upbringing.
- Arrange meaningful time with each parent: Children should spend substantial and regular contact with both parents unless there are serious safeguarding concerns.
5. Can contact be denied if one parent believes the other is not paying enough maintenance?
Generally, no. Contact with a parent is viewed as the child’s right and should not be withheld due to financial disagreements. If there are genuine safety or welfare concerns, the court may restrict or deny contact. However, lack of maintenance payments alone is usually not a sufficient reason to stop contact.
6. What if a parent fears the child’s safety during contact?
If you have serious concerns about your or your child’s safety, you can present this evidence to the court. In such cases, the court may order supervised contact or, in very rare circumstances, deny contact altogether if it finds substantial risk.
7. How can parents best help their children through a separation?
- Explain the situation: Help your child understand what is happening in the family and reassure them that it is not their fault.
- Encourage open relationships: Promote affection and respect for both parents. Children should feel free to love both parents without fear of upsetting the other.
- Avoid negative talk: Refrain from speaking disrespectfully about the other parent, especially around your child.
- Listen to your child’s feelings: Children can feel confused and upset. Listening to their concerns can help them cope.
8. Do children have a say in the arrangements?
Children should be listened to regarding how they feel, though their level of input depends on their age and understanding. Courts will consider older children’s wishes more but will always base final decisions on the child’s best interests.
9. How can parents communicate effectively about child arrangements?
- Keep discussions civil and child-focused.
- Clarify your point of view so misunderstandings are minimised.
- Draw up a plan about how to share responsibility and update it as needed.
- Avoid conflict in front of the children; never argue about arrangements when they are present.
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